I was interested to read the recent post from Good Goog. Good Goog’s author, Zoey, quotes from an article on Lifescript titled, 10 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make. Here is the list I like to call the Guilt Trip List:
- Sharing a bed with baby.
- Putting your child to bed with milk or juice.
- Buying second-hand toys or baby furniture.
- Showing your child “smart baby” DVDs.
- Putting kids in the basket of a shopping cart.
- Sharing utensils with your child.
- Delaying or avoiding vaccines.
- Leaving your child alone in the car “just for a minute.”
- Skipping helmets on tricycle rides.
- Leaving your child alone in the bath or shower.
I’m giving myself an epic FAIL. Epic, epic FAIL. F-A-I-L. I’m not advocating irresponsible parenting but I think this list is, well — ridiculous. Sharing utensils?? Second hand toys??? Seriously??
I’ve been thinking about some mistakes parents make (and what I have learnt from my own mistakes).
This is the list I like to call the Heart Attitude List:
- Not taking time to listen to your child.
- Taking your anger out on a child.
- Judging your child on another person’s child or standard.
- Not allowing your child to be themselves.
- Forgetting a goodnight kiss and cuddle.
- Failing to invest in nurturing discipline.
- Missing the ‘love the moment’ moments.
- Failing to say sorry.
- Not saying “I love you” everyday — in fact several times a day.
- Pushing a child to pursue your unfulfilled dreams.
The Lifescript list has missed the mark, mostly because it has been attacked from above rather than dealing with the source. Like if you have an infected abscess; no matter how many band aids you but on, it’s not going to get better. It needs to be dealt with from below the surface. In the same way, if you create a Guilt Trip List for parents, mistakes can still fester. Rather, if parents set their own Heart Attutide List to encourage the nurturing of each child as an individual (for who God made them to be), it’s a given parents will take measures to keep their children safe. The Heart Attitude List deals with mistakes that can carry through a child’s life into adulthood; mistakes, if repeated over and over again, can create a myriad of scars that never really heal.
Be a parent who attacks mistakes of the heart, not the skin. Make yourself a Heart Attitude List not a Guilt Trip List.
Read my post on nurturing discipline.