So I can do the Math on the increase of my children. Sometimes I look at them and wonder how it all happened. The math is the easy part. The hard part comes now I have four children to juggle, each with different needs and personalities; strengths and weaknesses; likes and dislikes.
I strive to raise my children together as a team but treat them all individually. I don’t parent each one the same but I love them equally.
Why it’s not the same but still fair
A word: Trust. My children trust me. They really do and this scares me. They know I strive to treat them fairly as individuals, so even when it’s not the same, they can accept that (even when sometimes they don’t like it).
A saying: It all comes out in the wash. It means, although something is not fair at the time, it works out to be fair in the end. I believe this works where there is trust.
Presents:I don’t always spend exactly the same amount of money on each child, although I do give the same amount of presents. This is especially true while the children are young and have little concept of monetary value (a lovely state to be in).
Clothes: Sometimes one child will need new clothes and the others don’t. I don’t buy them all something just for the sake of being equal. Soon it will be their turn to have new things too.
Expectations: My eldest daughter is messy, creative and disorganised. My second daughter is organised, driven and emotional. I allow for them to be who they are so this means adjusting my parenting expectations accordingly. I don’t expect my messy-creative-disorganised daughter to have her room in the same state as my organised-driven-emotional daughter.
Television:I remember saying to Mum one day of my younger sister, “We never watched that movie at her age!” Ah, now it’s coming back to visit me. My youngest child has watched things on television earlier than my oldest child. I have to be careful of this sometimes. On the other side of the fence, my eldest child enjoys extra privileges due to her responsibility and age.
Photographs:I have photos of my first baby at every stage of development. Over the course of every subsequent child, although there are many photos, they aren’t documented so well. That’s life.
When all is stripped down to the basics, I don’t treat the children the same but I absolutely love each one equally, for who they are, with all my heart.