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I Didn’t Clean The Kitchen Last Night

This is the sight I woke to this morning. 

The Husband had been on-call for 60 hours and he stumbled home last night, absolutely exhausted. He fell into the chair, and I could tell, he just couldn’t move, let alone talk.  I felt like dropping myself; however, seeing him in such a state gave me a little extra energy to put his needs above mine. (I know that sounds sickeningly like the perfect wife, and I’m far from that, but I felt so much compassion for him and he’s usually helpful around dinner).  I placed food in-front of the children and then gave a plate to my husband, still in the chair, with a glass of milk.  A glass of milk?  I don’t know why I gave him a glass of milk; but it felt like the nurturing thing to do. 

The children took their plates to the kitchen sink. I don’t remember telling them a story. Did I?   I certainly had no energy left to clean the kitchen.  So there it was, sitting patiently for me this morning.  Today as I write this, I feel fresher, and I can tackle the mess. I don’t like leaving the kitchen a mess but in a way, I feel good about it.  I feel good about it because I was able to prioritise what was important for our family in the moment, and — stuff the rest. It was important, for the moment that has now past, to invest in my husband — I know it.

Sometimes, when my husband comes home I say this:

“I didn’t do very well in the house today, but I loved the children.”

He smiles. And then I smile.

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51 Comments

  • Reply
    Nicole Grant
    July 27, 2010 at 11:50 am

    I LOVE this post Kelly. Every day I stress about getting the clothes washed, the dishes clean and the house tidy. Most nights my husband arrives home and I feel so horrible that he has to walk into the house looking the way it usually does. I find myself apologising and then telling him everything else (as tedious as it is) that I have done that day to justify my poor housekeeping skills. He never complains and really doesn’t seem to care, but I care! I guess it always gets done eventually. I think my husband would be very happy to be greeted with a smile everyday. I just need to remember that I do love my children everyday, and my husband too, and that is the most important thing in the world. Thanks for reminding me 🙂

    • Reply
      Kelly Be A Fun Mum
      July 27, 2010 at 2:29 pm

      That’s beautiful Nic…. and, I think you are right. If a partner had to choose between a messy house and a smiling woman, I think they would always go for a smiling wife.

      • Reply
        Renee
        July 29, 2010 at 3:27 am

        oh we are all living paralel lives!! (and nice to be reminded like you say Nic!) Great to read about my friends lives online even if i don’t get time to catch up personally all the time, it makes me smile to hear how we go through such similar situations! Hope you are both doing well and love to catch up soon x

  • Reply
    Tweets that mention I Didn’t Clean The Kitchen Last Night : Be A Fun Mum -- Topsy.com
    July 27, 2010 at 11:54 am

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Marita, Kelly Long Burstow and Kelly Long Burstow, Be A Fun Mum. Be A Fun Mum said: New Post: I Didn't Clean The Kitchen Last Night https://beafunmum.com/2010/07/i-didnt-clean-the-kitchen-last-night/ http://fb.me/DWxHyvuB […]

  • Reply
    Tina
    July 27, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    You know, since my hubby has been home (he injured his back a few years back and now if on disability pension), he can understand why our house is a mess sometimes when he used to come home from work. He now knows what I do all day 😉

    Oh and BTW, loving the colour of your wall!

    • Reply
      Kelly Be A Fun Mum
      July 27, 2010 at 2:31 pm

      HAHA! Love it Tina! My husband often says he finds it easier going to work than looking after the children… and, if I’m ever away for a night, he ALWAYS says this: “Darling, I don’t think we should have any more children. It’s just too much work.”

  • Reply
    Mon
    July 27, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    I had a day like that yesterday too Kel!

    I am absolutely stealing your line… “I didn’t do very well in the house today, but I loved the children.”… make that, child. 🙂

    • Reply
      Kelly Be A Fun Mum
      July 27, 2010 at 2:32 pm

      Mums often have days like it hey? And yes, ask yourself the question: I didn’t do well in the house, but did I love my child? xx

  • Reply
    Emily
    July 27, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    My kitchen OFTEN looks like that in the morning. I don’t like it, but sometimes when I get to the end of the day and finally herd my children into bed I would rather hang out on the couch with my hubby than clean the kitchen. It’s a sacrifice I make for the sake of our marriage.

    That said, I LOVE the days I wake up to a clean kitchen.

    • Reply
      Kelly Be A Fun Mum
      July 27, 2010 at 2:34 pm

      hehe. Kitchen? Snuggling on couch with husband? Kitchen? Snuggling on couch with husband? Yep, you made the right choice… but totally, waking up to a clean kitchen is gold.

  • Reply
    Maddie
    July 27, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    click: like

    (p.s is it wrong that my kitchen is resembles that every day?)

  • Reply
    SquiggleMum
    July 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Gorgeous Kelly. And I’ll be using that line myself…

  • Reply
    Kelly
    July 27, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    Hi Kelly,
    I love your post. It has inspired me. Some days I don’t get alot of things done and I stress about it, but I don’t end up doing much with the kids either. So I want to, at the end of the day regardless of what is done or not done, be able to say but I loved the children.
    Thanks Kel 🙂

    • Reply
      Kelly Be A Fun Mum
      July 27, 2010 at 7:43 pm

      Beautifully put Kel,

      “So I want to, at the end of the day, regardless os what is done or not done, be able to say but I love the children/”

      Brought tears to my eyes.

  • Reply
    Bonnie
    July 27, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Good post Nell. This is Kelly. It’s not Mum or anyone else. This is Kelly and I like her.

  • Reply
    Meeya
    July 27, 2010 at 8:09 pm

    So lovely Kell. Reminds me of my relationship with Jesus too. I heard a sermon once on ‘The Martha Syndrome’. Where Jesus was over Mary & Martha’s place – Mary just wanted to spend time with Jesus while Martha was rushing around and fussing about the meal and the house and getting flustered with Mary that she wasn’t helping her – that she was just with Jesus. I have to remind myself everyday that spending time with Jesus, loving and playing with the children, and loving and being around Sam is pure gold compared to the rubbish that is housework 😉 I love a clean & tidy house, but would so much rather wake up to mess and a clear conscience that I’ve invested into all my important relationships. And so begins maybe another post on cleaning the house in 10mins per day hehe 🙂
    Love you xoxo

    • Reply
      Kelly Be A Fun Mum
      July 27, 2010 at 8:43 pm

      Oh Yes, Meeya! I too, have to remind myself not to be Martha. Thank for bringing it up. Jesus broke down so many barriers didn’t he? Sometimes I find myself putting them back up… Thank you Jesus

  • Reply
    amandab
    July 27, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    Ummmmmm ….. we never do the dishes before the morning ….. :S

  • Reply
    Marissa
    July 28, 2010 at 4:50 am

    I LOVE THAT LITTLE QUOTE. Perfect, and all that really matters! <3

  • Reply
    Getting Personal – behind the blogMm is for me's blog | Mm is for me's blog
    July 28, 2010 at 6:39 am

    […] more than what I thought it would be: I’ve met mum’s who make you feel better about not tidying up the kitchen at night, who make you feel that you’re not the only one who’s sleep deprived, or ignoring the […]

  • Reply
    Melissa
    July 28, 2010 at 11:05 am

    Lovely lovely sentiment: Focus on the stuff that matters. Housework will always be there waiting patiently for you afterall. Always!

  • Reply
    Janet
    July 28, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    Yep my kitchen often looks like this in the mornings too. It is my hubby’s “job” to clean up after dinner and most nights, he is just too tired … it used to drive me nuts leaving it messy but I wore myself out doing it if he didn’t … and usually with a pretty bad attitude. So now I try to turn a blind eye to it. Fortunately most mornings he tidies it all up before we got to work!

    • Reply
      Kelly Be A Fun Mum
      July 28, 2010 at 2:39 pm

      It pays just to let some things be hey… My husband ALWAYS leaves his shoes and socks around and it’s just something I’ve learnt to accept, and not stress about…

      • Reply
        Janet
        July 28, 2010 at 2:47 pm

        Yes that’s a very familiar scenario in our house too! One of the betst marriage tips I ever read was “choose your battles wisely” … do socks on the floor really matter?

        • Reply
          Kelly Be A Fun Mum
          July 28, 2010 at 2:49 pm

          That’s it… and nope, socks don’t really matter… mostly… lol

  • Reply
    Ella
    July 29, 2010 at 8:53 am

    Great post Kelly! I somethimes go to bed with the kitchen a mess. With 2 children, 2 step children and a husband to look after my house always looks far from perfect. I used to be such a neat freek and had to have a perfectly clean house but ive had to drop my standards since having kids. To me what makes me happy is having a happy household. The kids wont remember the messy house but they will remember mum always had time for them, to play, read to them and just talk.

    • Reply
      Kelly Be A Fun Mum
      July 29, 2010 at 9:40 pm

      I know! I used to be able to keep things neat and tidy… but no more. I too, have had to way lower my standards {sigh}

      I agree though, having a happy household is something to strive for. I often ask myself this question: will the children remember what the house looks like today in ten years?

  • Reply
    Katherine
    July 29, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    You have such an amazing, outstanding soul and heart, Kelly. Truly.

    I adore your quote. Hopefully one day, I’ll grow up to be a mummy just like you. You’re wonderful!

    Happy Thursday 🙂

    K xx

    • Reply
      Kelly Be A Fun Mum
      July 29, 2010 at 9:42 pm

      Ah, K, you are a ray of sunshine… do you know that? Stay in touch honey, it’s so lovely having contact with you… I love your photographs too xx

  • Reply
    Michelle
    August 2, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    But it’s such a neat mess!
    No ants, no mould, not food splashes…..
    Love that you’ve put this up – If I dont get to the dishes at night… they’ll often sit there until I go to cook dinner and have no bench space LOL
    Ah parenting!

  • Reply
    Lori @ RRSAHM
    September 9, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    Lovely post Kelly. I must confess, I am so anal about my kitchen- it must be clean, or I just can’t sleep, no matter how tired I am! Sad, I know 😉

  • Reply
    MuffinMonsterBB
    September 9, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    My kitchen hadn’t been cleaned for a few days! DP is cleaning it now 😀 *sucker*

    We have the same bench tops and cupboards it think!

  • Reply
    Becky
    September 10, 2010 at 9:47 am

    Great post and what a great line! When I don’t get things done I fret and apologise, but this is much better and so true.

  • Reply
    The NDM (of Not Drowning, Mothering)
    September 10, 2010 at 10:43 am

    “I didn’t do very well in the house today, but I loved the children.”

    Too right!

  • Reply
    Lauren
    September 12, 2010 at 9:31 am

    There are more important things in life than a clean sink…

  • Reply
    Being Me at Sunny Side Up
    September 21, 2010 at 9:24 am

    No matter how often I try, the poor kitchen is never (or rarely, anyway) clean before bedtime. It used to be. But that was before our daughter. I grew up with a mother who couldn’t sleep without the dishes being done and the kitchen immaculate. I wish I could be like that – I used to think my care factor was so low it was deplorable… now I’m thinking, it’s really not worth me fretting over something that was important to my mother but obviously not SO important to me. I’m FREE!

    (but I still wish I had a kitchen cleaning fairy who could solve the issue of the dirty kitchen 😉

  • Reply
    Erin
    October 15, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    This post has bought me to tears. What a gorgeous gorgeous post. And that mess in your kitchen is one hell of a BEAUTIUL mess. Im always trying to tell myself and always telling others, dont worry about the mess, it wont grow legs and walk away it will be there tomorrow, but these precious moments as you have just shared do go legs and are gone forever. i truely love this and I love that you have no horrible feelings attatched to it. As much as waking up to a shiny sink is very important to me. Well I too would have to say caring and noureshing one tired hubby far out weighs the importants of the dish’s.
    can I please steal your quote? its genious really.

    • Reply
      Kelly Be A Fun Mum
      October 15, 2010 at 8:43 pm

      HA! gorgeously put Erin. And yes, it a fab quote and a staple in our house. 😀

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