If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest.
It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.
I am toddler!
— author unknown
Ah yes. So true. The toddler is filled with inexhaustible curiosity, teetering between emotions of sheer delight and utter dispair…all in a few minutes.
At the end of a challenging day, through all the tears and laughter, just one look at a sweet sleeping face and any hardship seems to vanish.
Things I’ve found helpful when caring for a Toddler:
1. Children and Coping with Transitions: Help toddlers cope with moving from one transition to another.
2. 5 Ways to Regain Lost Ground with a Young Child: Establishing boundaries.
3. Choose Which Hill to Die On: Choose battles carefully.
4. Little Billies, Toast and the Terrible Twos: Check expectations.
27 Comments
BookChook
March 18, 2011 at 8:01 amAbsolutely! This is distilled essence of toddler. And you’re so right, we wouldn’t have them any other way. Although that’s not what I told myself when green texta scribbles appeared on my cedar table!
Kelly B
March 20, 2011 at 12:09 amHA! Thanks for the inspiration in the first place BC
Nicole Grant
March 18, 2011 at 8:59 amLove it! And all so true <3
Kelly B
March 20, 2011 at 12:10 amIsn’t it just…. Made me laugh…
Lauren
March 18, 2011 at 9:01 amSpot on – that’s my day in a NUTSHELL!!! Shared that on FB as I think it will bring a smile to many of my friends 🙂
Kelly B
March 20, 2011 at 12:11 am🙂
Nicole
March 18, 2011 at 9:02 amWhen did you find time to interview my son? I’m sure these are his rules. Nice to know they are rules in every two year olds house.
Kelly B
March 20, 2011 at 12:14 amYep…I’m sure they have some sort of meeting to work our thier adgenda and then unleash it… hehe
Chelle
March 18, 2011 at 12:23 pmThis is EXACTLY my 3 year old so doesnt stop at toddlers
Does my head in – but love him too bits
LOVE LOVE LOVE this thanks for sharing
Kelly B
March 20, 2011 at 12:18 amGlad you enjoyed it Chelle.
Sarah
March 18, 2011 at 7:34 pmAhh, I’m living it everyday with my 2yo boy. Had a giggle through this and I just read it out loud to my husband. Your little treasure is adorable.
Kelly B
March 20, 2011 at 12:20 amHe really is gorgeous…especially when he sleeps. HA! Toddlers are a lot of fun aren’t they…but exhausting at the same time…
Emma Dennehy
March 19, 2011 at 7:29 amthis is so true and ITS LILY LOL
Kelly B
March 20, 2011 at 12:22 amAwwwww, my pocket-rocket Lil.
Polly
March 19, 2011 at 7:36 amTrue, true, true…
Kelly B
March 20, 2011 at 12:22 amagreed, agreed, agreed
Kathryn Rodda
March 19, 2011 at 12:23 pmso very true – multiplied by 3 in my house! I also love the gumboots in bed – so typical of something my boys would do!
Kelly B
March 20, 2011 at 12:23 amI thought the gumboots were SO cute…
Kat Eden
March 19, 2011 at 2:04 pm“If it does not open, it must be screamed at.”
My daughter is still 2 months away from ‘official’ toddlerhood (is that the correct term??), but I can already relate to this poem. I love it! (the screaming, not so much)
Kelly B
March 20, 2011 at 12:25 amIf it’s not a word, we’ll make it one, okay? Such a full on time: toddlerhood.
Christie
March 20, 2011 at 8:25 amAah so spot on Kelly. This is exactly why they were MADE cute.
Kelly B
March 21, 2011 at 1:26 pmhehe…yep… My husband says: Lucky you’re cute because right now, you have nothing else going for you!
Katherine
March 20, 2011 at 3:08 pmAw, the poem made me smile. It reminds me of my godson, Charlie.
Hope you are well!
Kelly B
March 21, 2011 at 1:27 pmI’m really well Katherine…just tired from a big weekend. I’ll pop by your blog and say hi. x
Brooke
March 21, 2011 at 2:10 pmOh so true! My little man is challenging my skills right now but he’s still the best little thing in my life.
Kelly Be A Fun Mum
March 21, 2011 at 3:30 pmWell said Brooke. Well said.
PlanningQueen
March 21, 2011 at 11:28 pmYou always have such good ideas! You really do need to choose your battles wisely!