My Kids Bring Out the Worst In Me

Mel

i love this, I get so tired of the perfect pics of beautifully dressed kids in white (spotless houses) and mothers going on about how much they enjoyed baking, crafting ect. I like to do stuff with my kids but they (and I) always look like a mess after woods, and they usually drive me batty n the process. I constantly clean and yet my house never is truly clean. I have 5 kids and I wouldn’t be without them but I think projecting life with kids should include those moments where we all know we fantasize about running off to a deserted island, if only to get the opportunity to go to the loo by ourselves.

edenland

I absolutely love this … and so so true. All the joy and frustration and hard times has carved out a depth in me that would never have been there, if I wasn’t the mum of my guys.

xxx

Kerri

And oh the love!!

Lisa | Renovating Italy

It’s rare to find someone willing to share the hardships of being Mum as well as the joys. I am often to the point of furious frustration and yes life has certainly changed but I’d never change a thing (other than perhaps a fairy godmother from time to time to clean up the house lol).

It’s madness how often I beat myself up for not being the “Perfect” mum and wife…I learn each day.
ciao lisa x

Tracey Hutchings

Thank you so much. I can relate to this a lot. I don’t feel very patient, kind, etc. of late, and yes there is a lot of chaos around me, but I hold on to the hope that this journey is going to teach me SO much and be worth every bit.

Thanks again

Nicole

I would like to echo all of the above feelings. Before kids I was so tidy, clean and organised – almost to the point of being obsessive compulsive. But having kids has taught me to let go (rather reluctantly) of the need to have a clean and tidy house (an impossible feat with 4 year old twins and an 8 month old). I too feel that I have little patience at the moment and snap at my kids rather too easily. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one, but I still view it as a rather large failing in me. I keep reminding myself that they are little human beings and how I speak to them is how they will learn to speak to and relate to others. I am trying my hardest to lead by example. I can’t imagine my life without my gorgeous kids and, in all honesty, have no idea what I did with all of my time pre-kids. Anyway, am off to play lego and princesses now…the washing can wait! 🙂

Charmaine

Those sure are some priceless jewels around your neck there 😉 I totally agree, I often look back and wonder what happened to me and where the ‘old me’ went but then I look on the faces of my two beautiful angels and know that the ‘old me’ has nothing on the ‘Mummy Me”!!

HappyBunch6

I couldn’t agree more! Some days. (like today) are a nightmare. I end up screaming like a crazy person, crying. My grandmother died yesterday, she and I were close beyond explanation. My children chose today to fight, destroy their rooms, throw dirty nappies on the bedroom floor and then place clean clothing on top of them, rough house. I want to run screaming from the house! But, what would feel the best is to snuggle up on the couch with all four of the tyrants, sip cocoa and read a story. I wish being a good Mom were easier.

Tracy

Thankyou for writing this. I only have one child but I can relate to everything you wrote. It had made me realise that i’m not alone in my feelings and that they are obviously normal. I do my best everyday, but still feel it isn’t good enough. Then when I have a bad day or days, I feel so much more inadequate. Thankfully the bad days are much fewer than the good and fantastic ones. My daughter is my world, I wouldn’t be without her.

Michelle

Good, honest post. A great insight to what life is really like with children. Of course we all have these great ideals of how amazing motherhood is going to be. Fantastic images enter our heads of how we will raise our child/children, what we’re going to allow or not, before we even get there. And of course motherhood is truly amazing. But when we actually achieve motherhood it is of course totally different to what we expected. And of course some of the ideals we thought we definitely wouldn’t do in a million years, is what we end up doing just for some sanity. In a couple of weeks I will have been a mum for 15 years. And I still think I am an impulsive, unorganised, stressed out, screaming banshee some days. Which of course makes me feel awful, but sometimes my kids drive me to distraction! But what melts my heart and makes everything worth it, is when all 3 of my girls (even my nearly 15 year old) tells me that they love me and that I am the best mum in the world, and that I am so caring and fun! Being a parent is a blessing and I am so blessed with my kids. I can’t remember what it is like without kids, and I wouldn’t swap any of it for the world.

Erica

I have only one child. She has just turned 4. I’m ashamed to say, that having her has (until only just lately) put me off ever having another one, in case he/she turns out the be as difficult. I hate it that I feel that way. I love her to death, but EVERYTHING has been a struggle ever since she came into our life. The biggest thing is probably the financial struggle as we had her right around the global financial crisis hit and my husband being a builder – just plain ran out of work. So we lived between scant paychecks, me typing from home to add a little extra and mostly on the 4 credit cards we had somehow amassed over the years. Before we new it, we were behind on our mortgage and $45,000 in debt on credit cards. We had to sell our beloved first family home to pay everything out and are now renting. We had a massive falling out with my parents over Hannah as they have (or had – he is dead now, thank god – not that that’s changed anything much in them) a vicious and untrustworthy dog, who tries to bite ME, let alone a baby, and he has already bitten the granddaughter of one of my parents neighbours. Therefore, my daughter who as I said is now 4, has not been inside her grandparents house since she was about 4 months old. And never will – as they still refuse to put their only grandchild above the dog and lock it away while Hannah is there. My husband and I’s relationship has turned to absolutely crap since all of the above. We never have sex. Not that we used to have it very often to start with, but something is at least better than nothing. There is no intimacy in our life. None at all. He has been forced to start taking jobs that are far away and generally all over the state. He builds those big sheds that house massive farm machinery etc. He is gone from 2am Monday morning and does not return until usually around midnight on Friday nights. He is exhausted when he is home and is not able to really find the energy to participate in our life in the brief moments that we are afforded his company. I feel that I am a single parent really, but worse I guess, because at least a single parent can date and/or get affection from an outside source. I look at my friends whose husbands work away on the mines. Their husbands are on a regular roster, so they know when he is going to be home or away and therefore are able to plan ahead and organize outings etc. Not me. I have no idea from one day to the next when or if my husband will even be home. I can’t make any plans for us. I just sit at home and wait. Wait for the phone to beep with an incoming message which might contain a hint of when I might be able to expect him home. He has taken to either not telling me or lying outright so as not to upset me, so I don’t really know what to believe when the message comes anyway. Hannah asks when Daddy will be home. Soon honey. I don’t know honey. Maybe he will tell us tonight honey. I look at my friends whose husbands work away but have regular rosters. They pack up their 4 wheel drives in anticipation of dad’s arrival home, and ride off into the sunset for some fun filled, quality time with the family, spent fishing and camping out yonder. Probably some place I know we’ll never go. It wouldn’t be so bad if I knew when we were going to have some time off together perhaps, so I could plan for us to do something together at least. My daughter is 4 and has never been to the Zoo, or the city or pretty much anywhere other than Collie, which is the one time of the year when I know he will be away from work between Christmas and New Years – simply because he CAN’T go to work then as they company is closed between Christmas and New Years. So every year, we spend an obligatory painful lunch at his mother’s house, go home and pack up the car for the only time we get to spend together in a whole year. 365 days. And we get about 5 or 6 of them together at once – if we’re lucky. That’s it. In a year. But those circumstances are not going to change in at least the next 5 years. So what do I do? Should I just start planning my life without him in it, and if he happens to be home at a time that I have something scheduled then he can just tag along? Then again, my girlfriends have taken to not even bothering to include me on their outings as all their husbands now know each other and get along. I get the feeling the leave me out out of pity. Either that, or it makes them awkward to have a woman there alone when the rest of them have their husbands there. I don’t know. I just know that I am incredibly lonely.

Lori

Just curious if your husband helped keep the house clean and tidy and do other helpful things or was this all your doing prior to having children? Otherwise you would have had practise looking after your own things and taking care of someone else even before children, even if an adult should not necessarily need to be taken care of a lot in theory ….It would be easier if the things to do were shared if there is more to do with two people than one, even more to do once kids come along I am sure