The last couple of days I’ve been especially cranky. Like, really cranky. Tired. Overwhelmed. Stressed. Sad. It’s a combination of a lot of different things for me at the moment, and I’m struggling to be everything I need to be. I can’t help but feel like I’m letting everyone down because I’m not at the top of my game.
When I’m overwhelmed like this, I’ve learned the value of taking the time to stop and just be — feel what I feel — or else it quickly becomes a merry-go-round situation. So I stop. Be. And then regroup. Always onward.
Right now, I’m in the ‘Be’ part of the process, and this particular afternoon, I lay down for a small rest while the kids played outside. My 11-year-old daughter joined me, and lay down next to me.
“How are you love?” I said, welcoming her with my question.
“I’m always happy to be around you,” she responded with a sweet smile.
With a slight teasing tone in my voice, I responded, “Even when I’m…”
“Cranky?” her interjection finished my sentence and I grinned because she knew exactly what I was going to say. “Yes Mum, even when you’re cranky.” She indulged my sense of humour.
I laughed. What a gorgeous girl!
Ah, I’m so grateful for these rays of sunshine amongst a gloomy sky. It confirms to me the value of being real with my kids, and how this truth builds, not destroys, my relationship with them. This is especially true as my children grow older. I’m not perfect and my kids know it. But I strive to live by truth.
11 Comments
Natalie @ MummySmiles
August 29, 2012 at 7:12 amI’ve been feeling a bit like that too Kel. Often I wonder if I should be hiding my cranky times a bit more from the kids, but like you, I much prefer they know the real me, and not just the top layer. You are blessed with beautiful children xx
Kelly Be A Fun Mum
August 29, 2012 at 7:38 amI know what you mean Nat. Sometimes I think the same too, that I should protect my children as much as possible…but I’ve tried that, tried to hide it all, and it doesn’t serve me well. Instead, I try and be honest with the kids, and by the by, teach them that these down periods come, and there are always ways to overcome them. xx
Peta
August 29, 2012 at 7:25 amI needed to hear this today. It’s comforting to know that as women, we live a lot by our emotions, and that that’s ok. It doesn’t give us the right to treat our children badly, but it does give us the right to take the time that we need to get back up on top again. Thanks Kel. As always you have shared a message for the moment…
Kelly Be A Fun Mum
August 29, 2012 at 7:40 amPeta, you have a very special way of summarising EXACTLY the point I try and make, in just a few sentences. I really like how you said, “It doesn’t give us the right to treat our children badly but it does give us the right to take the time we need to get back up on top again.” That’s it, isn’t it. And now, you’ve encourage me. Thank you! xx
Kelly
August 29, 2012 at 12:40 pmSo true!
This week has been my “falling in a heap” week. In those moments when everything is going wrong, I am trying to remember to stop pushing forward relentlessly, but instead to take a breath (or several) and mentally regroup. Sometimes the things I think are important are not really that important.
Kelly Be A Fun Mum
August 30, 2012 at 7:17 amOne the big lesson I’ve learned is to stop pushing forward sometimes. I’m a fighter and this is a good thing, but it can be a bad thing too, because there is value in saying, “This is not working right now; what can change?” Hope your week gets better Kell xx
Shannon
August 29, 2012 at 9:06 pmThanks for posting this Kelly, I too have had a shocker & found myself being quite critical of my girls. As a single Mum I do find it hard to always be the Mum I want to be & the one that they deserve. I think Mem Fox wrote a book called “Just Like That” which summed up that moment when Mum has had enough & I always felt it was more for the parent than the child. And you’re right, the thing that I felt was so huge really wasn’t once I could take a moment & think it through.
Kelly Be A Fun Mum
August 30, 2012 at 7:31 amOh, Shannon, I feel for you doing it on your own! The big thing for me is making sure the kids know that it’s not their fault that I’m having a hard week. I think kids (as they get older) can tell when you’re not quite right, and so I reckon it’s better to be upfront about it rather than leaving them guessing at what’s going on…and perhaps wondering what they have done. And I think it comes around too, when they are having a bad week. There is value in learning the skills on how to deal with dips, isn’t there? Love Mem Fox. xxxx
Dana Butler
August 30, 2012 at 12:34 pmReally loved reading this. Love your transparency and the fact that your sweet girl still had an open heart toward you even in the midst of your…. crankiness. 🙂 Must mean you do a good job stewarding your kiddos’ hearts even when you’re struggling internally. Way to go, Mom.
Dana
Kelly Be A Fun Mum
August 30, 2012 at 7:41 pmThanks for such an encouraging comment Dana! x
Danielle Colley
September 1, 2012 at 8:22 pmWe try to be everything to so many people, that sometimes we forget that we can’t always be Wonder Woman.
That said, Wonder Woman gets cranky too.
You’ve got a beautiful daughter there, K.
x