I’ll carry this picture with me

It’s late.  It’s quiet.  None of my children are here in the house tonight; they are all settled in where they are staying now, for the time period I’ll be away in India.

I’ve been crying on and off this weekend.  No one knew, expect my husband.  I haven’t been away from my children for so long before, and, although I’m excited about the trip ahead of me, I’m dreading it too. It’s not so much I’m worried about my kids, or even myself — God knows — it’s just…I’ll be so far away, and I feel the weight of a mother’s love.

 I’ll carry this picture with me.

run my son

This is my son.  And I want to tell you the insignificant, yet precious story behind the photograph.   It was just last week, on a rare afternoon when Matt was able to do the school pick up with me.  I parked the car along the suburban street, close enough to the Kindergarten, and my husband disappeared up the road and around the corner; he was to surprise our son.  I remained in the car, quietly enjoying the solitary moment while browsing on the iPhone.

Then, it occurred to me, I wanted to be there when my husband and son came around the corner. I wanted to invest in this moment. I wanted to see them together and imprint the memory, intentionally, like a stamp on my mind.  So I stopped what I was doing. I got out of the car.  I crouched down, with my knees close to the grass. And I waited.

This is what happened.

My son saw me before my husband did.  He ran.  He ran to me from a way off. How wonderful is it to have a camera with me so often, to capture some of these sweet moments!

He ran with his arms stretched out and his face sparkled with joy. Can you see it?

He threw himself at me.

Then, he turned, and ran back to his dad, who lifted him up high, and my heart swelled as they returned to me, together.

So much love in these moments, my heart hurt. It hurts. There is pain in love. But so much joy.

This memory, these images are a gift, and I’ll carry them close.  I’ll go to India, because this opportunity, this burden, this privilege, has been given to me, and many children around the world don’t have the opportunities my children take for granted. Every. Single. Day.  Perhaps in some small way, I can be a voice for those children whose smiles may not come so easy.

These pictures are a manifestation of the love I have in my heart for my family, and I take this heart of love with me as I go.

Follow the trip

You can follow the trip on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Find out how here –> World Vision: India Blogger Trip

You Might Also Like...


  • Reply
    November 12, 2012 at 12:38 am

    Love your posts as always. Can identify with this one as I just spent 2 and a half weeks away from my children to come to my brother’s wedding overseas. It was surreal….to not have the many demands a child has of a mother, or the cuddles and kisses. But it was also lovely – to have this time to live in a different world briefly, but then return to my precious family. I also had my iphone with me at the airport when I came through customs!! Have a wonderful time and enjoy it to the full. The pictures and memories will sustain you and they will love and appreciate you just as much – if not more – when you are safely home with them! xx

  • Reply
    November 12, 2012 at 5:58 am

    oh yes, I’m getting a sense of that feeling. I want to go to blogher, I’ve bought my ticket, but the thought of leaving most of my litle ones at home without me just tears me up and I don’t think I can do it.
    have an amazing time and your children will be so proud of you and what you are doing.
    take care,

  • Reply
    November 12, 2012 at 9:55 am

    I’m sure you will find fun in your travels. Safe journey. Rachel

  • Reply
    Deb @ Aspiring Mum
    November 12, 2012 at 10:10 am

    Beautiful Kelly. Thoughts & prayers with you as you take on this next adventure.

  • Reply
    November 12, 2012 at 11:41 am

    Have a wonderful time! I am also feeling the pain of leaving the kids behind, we fly out in a week to India and although I am so excited, there is a pain that comes with knowing you will be so far away from your children. Thinking of you during the trip..enjoy the adventure!

  • Reply
    Julia Kuku Couture
    November 12, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    lovely Kelly what a special moment, I love the way we can capture these moments so readily with our camera’s these day’s and also the way parents are snapping pictures of their kids doing rather than just being like they did when we were little.

  • Reply
    Squiggly Rainbow
    November 13, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Praying you will be safe and your heavy heart will be light xx Beautiful pics – we are blessed to have these happy moments! xx

  • Reply
    November 13, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    I have tears at the beauty of this post. So beautiful and so brave of you to embrace this amazing trip. Xx

  • Reply
    Sonia Life Love Hiccups
    November 14, 2012 at 8:50 am

    These pictures alone even without your beautiful words made me cry. What a divine moment with a gorgeous little dude. Good luck hun, God Speed and Go get em. xx

  • Reply
    Donna Long
    November 19, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    so precious !!!!!!!!!!!!! much Love Donna

  • Reply
    India: Look Up
    December 18, 2012 at 8:56 am

    […] India: I’ll carry this picture with me […]

  • Reply
    Go Jump Off a Cliff
    March 1, 2013 at 1:53 pm

    […] Fear, I would say, is my biggest personal struggle.   Many see me as an adventurous, confident person, fearless even, but overcoming fear is a constant battle for me.  Right from the time I was a young girl, I struggled with fear. I  had terrible nightmares and used to make my way, terrified, to my parents’ bedroom.  Growing up, I was afraid of the dark, of being judged; scared of failure and failing others. Fear of loss, fear of pain, fear of fear; even fear of loving too much, feeling too much. I am scared of public speaking, of exams (even though I do the preparation).  Did you know, the day before I left for India, I sobbed most of the day, terrified to leave my children. […]

  • Reply
    India: Power of Women Together
    March 8, 2013 at 6:09 pm

    […] India: I’ll carry this picture with me […]

Leave a Reply